A food plan!

I have a food plan!  I have a definition of abstinence! (for now)

In OA, "abstinence" is the way we get back to sanity.  Just as someone in AA needs to refrain from drinking alcohol, people in OA abstain from (definition: refrain from) compulsive eating and compulsive behaviors.  This can mean different things to different people.  For some, it's refraining from a second (and eventually third, fourth... seventh) serving; for others, it's three moderate meals with nothing in between, since constant snacking, even on low-calorie foods, can feed the disease. 

I cannot stress how hard this was for my mind to accept.  I wanted a plan to follow, something pre-organized, and that all I would have to do is follow it and solve all my problems. I equated following a perfect eating plan perfectly with abstinence. (No, they're not the same.) This got me into trouble when I started cheating or swapping healthy, nutritious foods for empty calorie snack foods and wanted to keep eating. When my food plan was not stable, neither was I.

Abstinence is a state of mind free from the compulsion to eat. A food plan is how we get into that state of mind.  I had to work, do some trial and error, and do some talking with my sponsor, before I came up with my current plan, one that is flexible enough to be kind to me but does not allow me to eat the foods that could trigger my compulsion and cause me to go crazy.

I've already experienced a little of the benefits of abstinence, even in the little time I've started.  I remember thinking how much of a shock it was to wake up refreshed and clear-headed, rather than dragging myself out of bed in a mental and physical fog/sludge that was left over from the binge the night before.  Right now, I'm sticking to this because I want to avoid the negative feelings I experience when I overeat (see "A taste of desperation").  I NEVER want to feel like that again. I hope soon that I will crave abstinence for its own sake and for its own benefits.

My plan:

Three moderate, well-balanced meals and one snack per day, with LIFE (not food) in between, one day at a time.

More specifically, I abstain completely from the following foods (binge foods):

White flour (especially: chips, pasta, cereal, crackers, tortillas, pastries, brownies, cookies, breading for many meats, whether made with white flour or not)

White potatoes

Fast food (Subway or Jimmy John's are ok)

White rice

Chinese food

Pizza

Anything deep-fried

Fruit snacks

I measure the following foods (foods I tend to eat mindlessly):

Snack foods (e.g. popcorn, rice crisps, chex mix, nuts)

Cheesy, creamy, buttery, or otherwise extremely rich sauces

Butter

Cheese

Coffee Creamer

I abstain from the following behaviors:

Eating while driving

Stealing others' food

Emotional eating (celebration, loneliness, boredom, etc.)

Eating for special occasions or because someone made it for me

Perfectionism in my plan